Something fun: Pen review

This review is from: BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) (Office Product)

These ultra-feminine, lithe, sleek pens scintilate. They have overwhelmed many senses, and maimed many identities. They now too hold me in an infernal thrall. As a man, I have reached an apotheosis or an impasse…I’ll leave that to others to reflect upon as they read on and have properly mused.

I’m one to notice slight “fluxes” in my environment. As a child, I was attuned to the screams emitted by broken glass and to the sighs carried off into the winds from pensive seascapes. I was not to escape — the aura given off by these pens.

Perhaps it’s the winsome hues? Perhaps it’s the elegant comportment suffused into these pens? Perhaps the inviting warmth of the plastic, lending itself to a gentle corporeal clutch? I don’t know…I don’t know…These pens have provoked a spiritual break and I don’t know what to do or where to turn.